That’s like the whole, like, you know, what the season goal is. So what I want you to do is just sit back, relax, and let’s talk about that hot, juicy history goes. Okay, so I already opened up my Dark History book over here to chapter Dildo.

Let me tell you how I got here. ‘Cause in the intro, I like to like to explain how I arrived to today’s topic, ’cause sometimes those are just random. It’s like Bailey, how did we get here? So let me tell you.

I was shopping the other day. Okay, I just needed a couple of things. I need some candy. I need some booze. I need some tampons. Beep, bop, boop. I’m going down the lady aisle at something that rhymed with Yarget.

So while I was looking at the tampons and all that great, fun stuff we love so much, I spot something I’d never seen before in the aisle, a mythical creature, something called a vibrator, or a vibrator.

I was like, ah, would you look at that? I guess I’ve been conditioned to think that a vibrator belongs in a sex 리얼돌 store. You know, like, why is this here? Why don’t people just go by a vibrating toothbrush like the rest of us did.

I saw it, and I was just like blushing, and I was just so embarrassed. I was like, oh my God, a vibrator. Loke, Ugh. I was acting like a 12-year-old, and I like caught myself. And I was like, hey Bailey, wait a minute.

Isn’t this what we want? Isn’t this a good thing, vibrators being accessible? Then after a few moments of clarity, I was like, yes, make vibrators accessible to everyone. Because honestly, it’s the only thing we got going for us right now.

Like just keep that thing charged up and close by, okay? If you don’t know, I’m one of those people who talks to herself out loud. So I’m like thinking, like I wonder if they masturbated in the olden days.

Maybe they used wooden sticks or something. Bananas? I don’t know. And I’m Bailey. And when I have a question or I’m curious about something and don’t know the answer, I start Googling. Hey, Google, did women in the 1700s use dildos? The results, they were a little sloppy, but boy, did this lead me down a wild path because let me tell you something.